4015 lines
116 KiB
Plaintext
4015 lines
116 KiB
Plaintext
Mal: "We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we
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are so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Mal: "We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Wash: "Everything looks good from here... (beat...playing with plastic
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dinosaurs over his console) Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will
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thrive."
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(as Stegosaurus) "We will rule over all this land, and we will call it...
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'This Land'."
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(as T-Rex) "I think we should call it...your grave!"
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(Stegosaurus) "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
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(T-Rex) "Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh...now die!"
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Take my love, take my land
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Take me where I cannot stand
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I don't care, I'm still free
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You can't take the sky from me
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Take me out to the black
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Tell them I ain't comin' back
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Burn the land and boil the sea
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You can't take the sky from me
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There's no place I can be
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Since I found Serenity
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But you can't take the sky from me...
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%
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Mal: "I don't believe there's a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee
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from being cheerful." (he smiles at her, never stopping working) "Sometimes
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you just wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month."
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Kaylee: (kisses Mal) "I love my captain."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Zoe: "Something ain't right."
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Wash: "Sweetie, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in jail."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Wash: "Just a couple of days lying around. You with the bathing,
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me with the watching you bathe."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Kaylee: "I'd sure like to get a new compression coil."
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Mal: "And I'd like to be the king of all Londinum and wear a shiny hat."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Mal: "Wheel always keeps on turning, Badger."
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Badger: "That only matters to people on the rim."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Badger: "Crime and politics, little girl. The situation is always... fluid."
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Jayne: "The only fluid I see here is the puddle of piss refusing to pay our wage."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Book: "The destination's not important. How you get there's the worthier
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part."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Book: "Been out of the world for a spell. Like to walk it a while."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Jayne: "Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into
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nuthin'...carry the nuthin'..."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Mal: "Jayne! Your mouth is talking, you'd might wanna look to that."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Zoe: "Sir, we don't want to deal with Patience again."
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Mal: "Why not?"
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Zoe: "She shot you."
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Mal: "Well, yeah, she did a bit..."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Mal: "Ain't no way in the verse they could find that compartment, even if
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they were lookin' for it."
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Zoe: "Why not?"
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Mal: "... cause?"
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Zoe: "Oh yeah, this is going to go great."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Mal: "If anyone gets nosy, just...you know... shoot 'em."
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Zoe: "Shoot 'em?"
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Mal: "Politely."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Mal: "Send word to Patience?"
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Wash: "Haven't heard back yet. Didn't she shoot you one time?"
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Mal: "Everyone's making a fuss."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Simon: (concerning Jayne) "What do you pay him for?"
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Mal: "Public relations."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Book: "Captain, do you mind if I say grace?"
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Mal: "Only if you say it out loud."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Mal: "How's business?"
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Inara: "None of yours."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Book: "The important thing is the spices. A man could live on enough
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packaged food from here till judgment day as long as he has
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enough rosemary."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Mal: "That's what governments are for, to get in a man's way."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Simon: (concerning Jayne) "What do you pay him for?"
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Mal: "Public relations."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Inara: "So, would you like to lecture me on the wickedness of my ways?"
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Book: "I brought you some supper but if you'd prefer a lecture, I've a few
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very catchy ones prepped...sin and hellfire... one has lepers."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Wash: "Can we maybe vote on the whole murdering people issue?"
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Mal: "Now, you only gotta scare him."
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Jayne: (beat) "Pain is scary."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Jayne: "It's a girl. Cute too. 'Cept I don't think she's all there, you know?
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Course, not all of her has to be."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Jayne: "I was gonna get me an ear."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Simon: "What will they do?"
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Zoe: "If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and
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sew our skins into their clothing and if we're very very lucky, they'll
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do it in that order."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Patience: "I have to say I didn't look to be hearing from you any time soon."
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Mal: "Well, we may not have parted on the best of terms. I realize certain
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words were exchanged, also, certain... bullets."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Mal: "I believe that woman's planning to shoot me again."
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Jayne: "Here's a little concept I been workin' on. Why don't we shoot
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her first?"
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Wash: "It is her turn."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Jayne: "Testing, testing. Captain, can you hear me?"
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Mal: "I'm standing right here."
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Jayne: "You're coming through good and loud."
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Mal: "'Cause I'm standing right here."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Zoe: "Don't think its a good spot sir, she still has the advantage over us."
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Mal: "Everyone always does. That's what makes us special."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Mal: "Well, you were right about this being a bad idea."
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Zoe: "Thanks for sayin', sir."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Zoe: "Sir, I'd like you to take the helm pleases. I need this man to tear all my clothes off."
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Wash: "Work, work, work."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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Mal: "Had a good day."
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Simon: "You had the alliance on you, criminals and savages, half the people
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on this ship have been shot or wounded, including yourself, and
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you're harboring known fugitives."
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Mal: "We're still flyin'."
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Simon: "That's not much."
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Mal: "It's enough."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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Mal: (to Simon) "If I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me,
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and you'll be armed."
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--Episode #1, "Serenity"
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%
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(Mal makes a move in Chinese Checkers)
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Zoe: "That's a bold move."
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Mal: "I live on the edge."
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(Zoe makes a devastating move)
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Jayne (to Mal): "Nice work, dumbass."
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Mal: "I've given some thought to moving off the edge. Not an ideal location.
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Maybe a place in the middle...."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Drunk: "Hey, you gonna toast unification with me? Six years today, the
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Alliance sent the Browncoats runnin', pissin' their pants... You know, your
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coat is kinda a brownish color."
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Mal: "It was on sale."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Drunk: "I'm thinking you're one of them Independents."
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Mal: "And I'm thinking you weren't overburdened with schooling. So why don't
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we both ignore each other until we go away."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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Mal: "Say that to my face."
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Drunk: "I said, you're a coward, and a pisspot. Now what are you going to do
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about it?"
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Mal: "Nothing! I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind you." (Zoe
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punches the thug out) "Drunks are so cute."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Jayne: "Hey, I didn't fight in no war. Best of luck, though."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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Mal: (into com) "Wash, we've got some local color happening. Your grand
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entrance would not go amiss right now."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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(Zoe, Mal, and Jayne are backed up against the edge of a cliff by a bunch of
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drunken brawlers)
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Mal: "There's just an acre of you fellas, ain't there?" (to Zoe) "This is
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why we lost, you know. Superior numbers."
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Zoe: "Thanks for the re-enactment, sir."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Wash: "Every man there go back inside, or we will blow a new crater in this
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little moon."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Jayne: "Damn yokels can't even tell a transport freighter ain't got no guns on
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it."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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Kaylee: "So, what happened? Was there a terrible brawl?"
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Zoe: "Oddly enough, there was."
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Wash: "Are you getting my wife into trouble?"
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Mal: "What? I didn't start it! I just wanted a quiet drink."
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Zoe: "Funny, sir, how you always seem to find yourself in an
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Alliance-friendly bar come U-Day, looking for a quiet drink."
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Mal: "See, this is another sign of your tragic space dementia, all paranoid
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and crotchety. It breaks the heart."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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Mal: "Ladies and menfolk: We've got ourselves a job."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Mal: "Take us out of the world Wash, we've got us some crime to be done."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Mal: "Well they tell you: never hit a man with a closed fist. But it is, on
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occasion, hilarious."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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River: "Mal. Bad. In the Latin."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Mal: "She's a little whimsical in the brainpan, seems calm enough though"
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Book: "That young man's very brave."
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Mal: "Yeah. He's my hero!"
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Mal: "Well, what about you, Shepherd? How come you're flying about with us
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brigands? I mean, shouldn't you be off bringing religiosity to the
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Fuzzie-Wuzzies or some such?"
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Book: "Oh, I got heathens aplenty right here."
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Mal: "If I'm your mission, Shepherd, best give it up. You're welcome on my
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boat. God ain't."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Inara: "You have such lovely hair. I'm sure the doctor would agree."
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Kaylee: "Who, Simon? No, he's too... I'm just... Do you think it would look
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better up?"
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Inara: "We could experiment. We might even get wild later and wash your
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face."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Inara: "There's an energy about a person that's difficult to hide. You try to
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feel that..."
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Mal: "And then you try to feel the energy around their credit account. It has
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a sort of aura..."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Inara: (pissed) "What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?"
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Mal: "That it was manly and impulsive?"
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Inara: "Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was 'don't'."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Mal: "And Kaylee, what the hell's goin' on in the engine room? Were there
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monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?"
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Mal: "You're servicing crew now?"
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Inara: "In your lonely and pathetic dreams."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Inara: "Mal! If you're being a gentleman, I may die of shock."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Niska: "You have seen Crow. He loves to stand at the door to say 'Boo!'"
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Niska: "Ooh! You do not like I kill this man?"
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Mal: "Oh, no. I'm sure he... was a very bad person."
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Niska: "My wife's nephew. At dinner I am getting earful.
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There is no way out of that."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Zoe: "He's a psycho, you know. Niska."
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Mal: "He's not the first psycho to hire us, or the last. You think that's a
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commentary on us?"
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Inara: "You could always pray they make it back safely."
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Book: "I don't think the captain would much like me praying for him."
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Inara: "So don't tell him. I never do."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Zoe: "Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Mal: "Hell, this job I would pull for free!"
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Zoe: "Then can I have your share?"
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Mal: "No."
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Zoe: "If you die can I have your share?"
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Simon: "So, what are we doing?"
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Kaylee: "Oh, crime."
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Simon: "Crime? Good, OK... crime..."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Jayne: "Time for some thrilling heroics."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Jayne: "These are stone killers, little man. They ain't cuddly like me."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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River: "They won't stop. They'll never stop. They'll just keep coming until they
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get back what you took. Two by two, hands of blue. Two by two, hands of
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blue..."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Jayne: "How's about you shut that crazy mouth? Is that a fun game?"
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Mal: "Whatever happens, remember I love you."
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Zoe: "Sir?"
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Mal: "Because you're my wife."
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Zoe: "Right, sir... honey."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Mal: "That sounds like the Alliance. Unite all the planets under one rule
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so that everybody can be interfered with or ignored equally."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Jayne: "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and
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beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin' command here."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Jayne: "You can't change that... by gettin' all... bendy."
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Wash: "All what?"
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Jayne: "You got the... the light... from the console... keep you... lift you
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up. They shine like... (snatching at the air)... little angels..." (falls
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over, unconscious)
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Wash: "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Inara: "Zoe. What would your husband say if he knew you were here?"
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Zoe: "I... I was weak."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Sheriff: "His story had kind of an odor to it."
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Inara: "Yes. It's not the only thing about him that does."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Mal: "Nice shot."
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Jayne: "I was aiming for his head."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Sheriff: "You were truthful back in town -- these are tough times. A man can get
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a job, he might not look too close at what that job is. But a man learns all
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the details of a situation like ours.... well, then he has a choice. "
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Mal: "I don't believe he does."
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--Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Mal: "Now, this is all the money Niska gave us in advance. You bring it
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back to him, tell him the job didn't work out.
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(Crow spits)
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Mal: "We're not thieves. (beat) Well, we are thieves. Point is, we're not
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taking what's his. Now, we'll stay out of his way the best we can from here
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on in. You explain that that's best for everyone, okay?"
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Crow: "Keep the money. Use it to buy a funeral. It doesn't matter where
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you go, or how far you fly. I will hunt you down, and the last thing you
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see will be my blade."
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Mal: "... Darn." (kicks Crow solidly, knocking him into one of Serenity's
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engines and killing him. A second henchman is brought forward). "Now, this
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is all the money Niska gave us in advance..."
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Henchman: (overeager) "Oh, I'm good! Best thing for everyone! I'm right
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there with you!" --Episode #2, "The Train Job"
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%
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Zoe: "Proximity alert. Must be coming up on something."
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Wash: (alarmed) "Oh my god. What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying
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this thing!?" (deadpan) "Oh right, that would be me. Back to work."
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--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
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%
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Jayne: "Tell you what I think -- I figure that fellow we ran into, did everyone
|
|
on board. Then he decided to take a swim, see how fast his blood boiled out
|
|
his ears."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "You're a very 'up' person."
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "Should I remind you of the story of the Good Samaritan?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I'd rather if you didn't."
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "It's impressive what 'nothing' can do to a man. Like that fellow we
|
|
bumped into. He's likely stuck up under our belly about now. That's what
|
|
space trash does, you know. Kind of latches onto the first big something
|
|
stops long enough. Hey, now -- that'd be a bit like you and your sister,
|
|
wouldn't it?"
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "No one's gonna hurt you... any more than we already did."
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "Ah, yes. He's a real beast. It's a wonder you're still alive."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "...Looked bigger when I couldn't see him."
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Reavers might take issue with that philosophy. If they had a
|
|
philosophy. If they weren't too busy gnawing at your insides."
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Looks like they've jury-rigged it with a pressure catch. It's the
|
|
only thing that'd work with all these spare parts. We could probably bypass
|
|
that easy, we get to the DC line."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You tell me right now, little Kaylee, you really think you can do
|
|
this?"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Sure. Yeah. I think so. 'Sides, if I mess up, not like you'll be
|
|
able to yell at me."
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Stack everything here, in plain sight. Wouldn't want it to seem like
|
|
we got anything to hide. It might give them Alliance boys the wrong
|
|
impression."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Or the right one."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "That too."
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
Commander: "Looks to me like an illegal salvage operation."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "It does? That's discouraging."
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
Alliance Commander: "You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Fought with a lot of people in the war."
|
|
|
|
Alliance Commander: "And your husband?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Fight with him sometimes, too."
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
Alliance Commander: "Seems odd you'd name your ship after a battle you were
|
|
on the wrong side of."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong
|
|
one."
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Let's go again!"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Later. Maybe."
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "You saved his gorram life, he still takes the cargo. Hwoon dahn."
|
|
[jerk]
|
|
|
|
Mal: "He had to.... Couldn't let us profit. Wouldn't be civilized."
|
|
--Episode #3, "Bushwacked"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "I like watching the game. As with other situations, the key seems to be
|
|
giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "'Course, they won't discover it 'til they order the next round of
|
|
drinks."
|
|
|
|
Thug: "Way."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Good drinker, that one."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "I thought you'd get land-crazy, that long in port."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Probably, but I've been sane a while now and change is good."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Sniff the air, we don't kiss the dirt"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Wasn't planning on the dirt kissing, sir."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "I wouldn't stand for it anyway, captain, jealous man like me."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: (Off an alarm sounding from the console) "Closing in."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Planet's coming up a mite fast."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "That's just cause I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill
|
|
us all."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well, that happens, let me know."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Hmmm. It sounds like one of the finest parties I could imagine
|
|
getting paid to go to."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "I don't suppose you'd find it up to standards of your outings. More
|
|
conversation and somewhat less petty theft and getting hit with pool cues."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Look at the pretties!"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "What am I looking at, the girls or the clothes?"
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: (pointing to a pink frilly dress) "Say, look at the fluffy one!"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Too much foofaraw. If I'm going to wear a dress, I'd want something
|
|
with some slink."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "You want a slinky dress? I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I
|
|
have money for a slinky dress?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "I'll chip in."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: (to Jayne) "I can hurt you."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "I like the ruffles. Inara gets to wear whatever she wants.
|
|
|
|
Mal: "What are you going to do in that rig? Flounce around the engine room?
|
|
Be like a sheep walking on its hind legs"
|
|
|
|
(Kaylee storms off)
|
|
|
|
Zoe: (angry) "See ya on the ship, Captain."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "She mad or somethin?"
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Badger: "Captain Reynolds, heard you was in town, though we might have a bit of a sit down."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Prefer a bit of a piss off."
|
|
|
|
Badger: "I'm very sorry, did I give you the impression I was asking?"
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Seems to me the last time there was a chance for a little palaver, we
|
|
were all manner of unwelcome."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: (drinking) "This ain't bad."
|
|
|
|
Badger: "There's a trick to it: wood alcohol."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Now we're favored guests, treated to the finest in beverages that make
|
|
you blind."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "You backed out of a deal last time, left us hanging..."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "...hurt our feelings."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You recall why that took place?"
|
|
|
|
Badger: "Had a problem with your attitude is why. Though you was... what's the word..."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Pretentious?"
|
|
|
|
Badger: "Exactly! You think you better than other people!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Just the ones I'm better than."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Does, uh... does this seem kind of tight?"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Shows off your backside. Did you see the chandelier? It's hovering."
|
|
|
|
Mal: ""What's the point of that, I wonder. I mean I see the how they did it,
|
|
I'm just not getting the why."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I-- how
|
|
'bout that!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Yeah, well, just be careful. We cheated Badger out of good money to
|
|
buy that frippery, and you're supposed to make me look respectable."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Yessir, Captain Tight Pants."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Okay, help me find our man; he's supposed to be older. Kind of stocky,
|
|
wears a red sash crossways."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Why does he do that?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Maybe he won the Miss Persephone pageant. Just help me look."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Is that him?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "That's the buffet table."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Well, how can we be sure, unless we question it?"
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "I'm not saying the 80-04's hard to repair, it just ain't worth it."
|
|
|
|
Older Farmer: "It's a fine machine, you just keep it tuned."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Tsai boo shr." [That's not it.] "The extenders ain't braced."
|
|
|
|
Murphy: "I've been telling him to buy the 80-10 for years."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Those 'tenders snap off, don't matter how good the engine's
|
|
cycling."
|
|
|
|
Younger Farmer: "Miss Kaylee, I wonder if I could request the honor of...."
|
|
|
|
Murphy: (interrupting) "Wait a minute. Let her talk. She's talking. Dance
|
|
later."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "By the way, the 80-10's the same machine, they just changed the
|
|
plating and hope no one noticed."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: (sighs) "I thought you wanted to spend more time off ship this visit."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "I don't know. Out there it seems like all fancy parties. I like our
|
|
party better. The dress codes easier and I know all the steps."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Don't fall asleep now. Sleepiness is weakness of character. Ask
|
|
anyone! You're acting captain. Know what happens you fall asleep now?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Jayne slits my throat and takes over."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "That's right."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "And we can't stop it."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Well, I wash my hands of it. It's a hopeless case. I'll read a nice
|
|
poem at the funeral. Something with imagery."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "You could lock the door and keep the power-hungry maniac at bay."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Oh, no, I'm starting to like this poetry idea now. 'Here lies my
|
|
beloved Zoe, my autumn flower, somewhat less attractive now she's all
|
|
corpsified and gross'..."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Bitca: "It's not as good as last year."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Oh, really? What'd they have last year?"
|
|
|
|
Bitca: "Standards."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Gentleman: "Why, Banning Miller! What a vision you are in your fine dress.
|
|
It must have taken a dozen slaves a dozen days to get you into that getup.
|
|
|
|
Of course, your daddy tells me it takes the space of a schoolboy's wink to
|
|
get you out of it again."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Harrow: "I know him. And I think he's a psychotic lowlife."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife
|
|
community."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "I see Kaylee's here."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Cried Cinderella tears. You should have seen her when I told her she
|
|
could have that layer cake she's wearing."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "I think she looks adorable."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Yeah, but I never said it."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Use of a swhat?"
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: Up until the punching, it was a real nice party.
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "The captain's a good fighter, must know how to handle a sword."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "I think he knows which end to hold."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "Atherton's a heavy sleeper the night before a big day. You know, he's
|
|
got the killing in the morning, then a haircut later."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Such a comfort, having friends visit at a time like this."
|
|
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I actually thought I was defending your honor and I _never_ back down
|
|
from a fight!"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Yes, you do. You do all the time."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well... yea... but I'm not backing down from this one."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "He's an expert swordsman, Mal -- you had trouble with the pillar. How
|
|
will your death help my honor?"
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "What we need's a diversion. I say Zoe gets naked."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Nope."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "I could get naked."
|
|
|
|
Wash and Simon, in unison: "No!"
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Badger: "Why ain't she talking? She's got a secret."
|
|
|
|
River: "Sure, I got a secret. More'n one. Don't seem likely I'd tell them to you
|
|
now, do it? Anyone off Dyton Colony knows better than to talk to strangers.
|
|
You're talkin' loud enough for the both of us, though, ain't ya? I've known
|
|
a dozen like you. Skipped off home early. Run graft jobs 'ere and there.
|
|
Spent some time in the lockdown, but less than you claim. Now you're what?
|
|
Petty thief with illusions of standing. Sad little king of a sad little
|
|
hill."
|
|
|
|
Badger: "...Nice to see someone from the old homestead."
|
|
|
|
River: "Not really." (to Simon) "Call me if anyone interesting shows up."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "That there? Exactly the kind of diversion we could have used."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "Attack." (Mal lunges at her with sword; she sidesteps and swats him
|
|
on the butt; he grunts in pain) "How did I avoid that?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "By being fast like a freak?"
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "You have a strange sense of nobility. You'll lay a man out for implying
|
|
I'm a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "You are always breaking the rules, no matter what society you're in!
|
|
You don't get along with ordinary criminals either, which is why you are
|
|
constantly getting in trouble!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "And you think following rules will buy you a nice life, even if the
|
|
rules make you a slave."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Don't take his offer."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "What?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Don't do it. Because in the case that it happens, that means he's
|
|
the fellow that killed me. And I don't like fellows that killed me, not
|
|
in general."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Harrow: "You have to finish it, lad. You have to finish it. For a man to lay
|
|
beaten... and yet breathing? It makes him a coward."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "It's humiliation."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Sure. It would be humiliating. Having to lie there while the better
|
|
man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man. (lightly
|
|
stabs Atherton with the sword) Guess I'm just a good one. (stabs him again)
|
|
Well, I'm all right."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Atherton: "You set this up, whore! After I bought and paid for you. I should have
|
|
uglied you up so no one else would want you."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "See how I'm not punching him? I think I've grown."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Atherton: "Well, get ready to starve! I'll see to it you never work again."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Actually, that's not how it works. You see, you've earned yourself a
|
|
black mark in the client registry. No Companion is going to contact with you
|
|
ever again."
|
|
|
|
Harrow: "You'll have to rely on your winning personality to get women. God help
|
|
you."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Harrow: "You didn't have to wound the man."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Yeah, I know, it was just funny."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "We was just about to spring into action, Captain. Complicated
|
|
escape-and-rescue operation."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "I was going to watch. It was very exciting."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "Thank you for the wine. It's very... fresh."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "To Kaylee, and her inter-engine fermentation system."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "Are you in pain?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Absolutely. I got stabbed, you know. Right here."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "I saw."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Don't care much for fancy parties. Too rough."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "It wasn't entirely a disaster."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I got stabbed! Right here!"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "You also lined up exciting new crime."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "It's good to have cargo. Makes us a target for every other scavenger
|
|
out there of course, but, sometimes that's fun too."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "I am grateful, you know. For the ill-conceived and high-handed attempt
|
|
to defend my honor although I didn't want you to."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Gracious as that is, as I look back, probably should have stayed out of
|
|
your world."
|
|
--Episode #4, "Shindig"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "We got outflanked by an Independent squad, and we're never gonna make it
|
|
back to our platoon. We need to resort to cannibalism."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "That was fast. Don't we have rations or anything?"
|
|
|
|
River: "They got lost. We're going to have to eat the men."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mr. Tam: "I will not have it in my house. But since your mother's already
|
|
ordered one, I guess I might as well give up the fantasy that this is my
|
|
house."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "So, she's added cussing and hurling about of things to her repertoire.
|
|
She really is a prodigy."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "It's just a bad day."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "No, a bad day is when someone's yellin' spooks the cattle. Understand?
|
|
You ever see cattle stampede when they got no place to run? It's kind of
|
|
like a...a meat grinder. And it'll lose us half the herd."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "She hasn't gone anywhere near the cattle."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "No, but in case you hadn't noticed, her voice kinda carries. We're two
|
|
miles above ground and they can probably hear her down there. Soon as we
|
|
unload, she can holler until our ears bleed." (to River) "Although I would
|
|
take it as a kindness if she didn't."
|
|
|
|
River: "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate
|
|
vacuuming systems."
|
|
|
|
Mal: (to Simon) "See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long
|
|
as she does it quiet-like."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "You know, they walk just as easy if you lead them."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "I like smackin' them."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "Next time we smuggle stock, let's make it something smaller."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Yeah, we should start dealing in those black-market beagles..."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Little soul big world. Eat and sleep and eat... Many souls. Very
|
|
straight, very simple"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Cattle on the ship three weeks, she don't go near 'em. Suddenly,
|
|
we're on Jiangyin and she's got a driving need to commune with the beasts?"
|
|
|
|
River: "They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot.
|
|
Now they see sky and they remember what they are."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Is it bad that what she just said makes perfect sense to me?"
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "When a man engages in clandestine dealings, he has this preference for
|
|
things going smoothly. She makes things not be smooth."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Right. I'm very sorry she tipped off anyone about your cunningly
|
|
concealed herd of cows."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "Does it seem every supply store on every border planet has the same
|
|
five rag dolls and the same wood carvings of... What is this? A duck?"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "That's a swan. And I like it"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "You do?"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "It looks like it was made with, you know... longing. Made by a
|
|
person who really longed to see a swan."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Perhaps because they'd only heard of them by rough description."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "This is the last time. The last time with cows. I hear there is
|
|
an idea involving beagles, they have smallish droppings?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "I believe so sir."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Grange: "Scrawny."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Milk and hay, three times a day, fed to them by beautiful women."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "It was something to see."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Grande: "They's branded."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Now you boys are hitting all the selling points. A fresh
|
|
brand is a dead give-away. Claim them as your own."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Grange: "We can go to 25."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well... we'll be taking a loss. But you seem like clean and virtuous
|
|
boys. Done."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "It never goes smooth. How come it never goes smooth?"
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "That's... that's quite a lot of blood, isn't it?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Just means you ain't dead."
|
|
|
|
Book: " 'fraid I might be needin' a preacher."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "That's good. You just lie there and be ironical." (to Jayne)
|
|
"Stretcher!"
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "Some of these words -- they're misspelled. She started correcting my
|
|
spelling when she was three."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "That bad?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Battle wounds are nothing new to me, preacher. I've seen men live
|
|
with a dozen holes in 'em this size."
|
|
|
|
Book: "That right?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Surely is. Knew a man once who had a hole clean through his whole
|
|
shoulder. Used to keep a spare hankie in there."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: (mock reading Simon's journal) "Dear Diary...today I was pompous and
|
|
my sister was crazy." (flips page) "Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk
|
|
never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Well, we're headed for help... right?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Captain will come up with a plan."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "That's good. Right?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Possibly you're not recalling some of his previous plans."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "You sanguine about the kind of reception we're apt to receive on an
|
|
Alliance ship, Cap'n?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Absolutely." (beat) "What's 'sanguine' mean?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: " 'Sanguine'. Hopeful. Plus -- point of interest -- it also means
|
|
'bloody'."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well, that pretty much covers all the options, don't it?"
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Doralee: "Place like this might be good for your sister. Quiet,
|
|
safe, place where folks take care of each other."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Yes, seems like a lovely little community of kidnappers."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "I took you away from there."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "No."
|
|
|
|
River: "I know I did. You don't think I do, but... I get confused. I remember
|
|
everything. I remember too much and.... Some of it's made up and... some of
|
|
it can't be quantified and there's secrets..."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "It's okay."
|
|
|
|
River: "But I understand. You gave up everything to find me, and you found me
|
|
broken. It's hard for you. You gave up everything you had."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Mei mei, everything I have is right here."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "These are better than the Camberson's berries."
|
|
|
|
River: "They are. Except they're poison."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "It's been a big day, what with the abduction and all."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "I'm sorry, Dad. You know I would never have tried to save River's life
|
|
if I'd known there was a dinner party at risk."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mr. Tam: "Are you trying to destroy this family?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "I didn't realize it would be so easy."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "What kind of ident card gets us that kind of reception and send off?"
|
|
|
|
Book: "I am a Shepherd. Folks like a man of God."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "No, they don't. Men of God make everyone feel guilty and judged."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time.
|
|
Whaddya suppose that makes us?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Big damn heroes, sir."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Ain't we just!"
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Sorry to interrupt, folks. Y'all got something that belongs to us
|
|
and we'd like it back."
|
|
|
|
Patron: "This is a holy cleansing, you cannot think to thwart God's will."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Y'all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big
|
|
gun? Now I'm not saying you weren't easy to find but it was kinda out of our
|
|
way, and he didn't want to come in the first place. Man's lookin' to kill
|
|
some folk. So really, it's his will y'all should worry about thwarting."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: (to Simon) "Gotta say, doctor, your talent for alienatin' folk is near
|
|
miraculous."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Yes, I'm very proud."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Cut her down."
|
|
|
|
Patron: "That girl is a witch!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Yeah, but she's our witch. So cut her the hell down!"
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "So finally...a decent wound on this ship, and I miss out. I'm
|
|
sorry."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. It happens."
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "So Shepard says to a Companion, "Well, a good goat will do that." "
|
|
--Episode #5, "Safe"
|
|
%
|
|
Bandit #1: "And I think maybe you're gonna give me a little one-on-one
|
|
time with the missus."
|
|
|
|
Jayne/Husband: "Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part.
|
|
See, I married me a powerful ugly creature."
|
|
|
|
Mal/Wife: "How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new
|
|
people?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne/Husband: "If I could make you purtier, I would."
|
|
|
|
Mal/Wife: "You are not the man I met a year ago."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Now think real hard. You been bird-dogging this township a while now.
|
|
They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail
|
|
cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I
|
|
will end you."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "So, explain to me again why Zoe wasn't in the dress?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Tactics, woman! Needed her in the back. 'Sides, them soft cotton
|
|
dresses feel kind of nice. There's a whole airflow."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "And you would know that because...?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman,
|
|
I'm a mystery."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Best keep it that way. I withdraw the question."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I'm sorry. Go back to the part where you're my wife."
|
|
|
|
Saffron: (downcast) "I don't please you."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You can't please me. You've never met me." (Zoe and Jayne enter) "Zoe,
|
|
why do I have a wife?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "You got a wife?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "What's she doing here?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "All I got was that dumb-ass stick that sounds like it's raining.
|
|
How come you got a wife?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I didn't." (to Saffron) "We're not married."
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "I'm sorry if I shame you..."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You don't shame me. Zoe, get Wash down here."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: (hits comm) "This is Zoe. We need all personnel in the cargo bay."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "All? I said Wash!"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Captain, everyone should have a chance to congratulate you on your day
|
|
of bliss."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "There's no bliss! I don't even know this girl."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Then can I know her?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Jayne! Don't sully this."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Zoe, you are going to be cleaning out the latrine with your face, you
|
|
don't cut that out."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "Who's the new recruit?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Everybody, I want you to meet Mrs. Reynolds."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: (excited) "You got married?!"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Well, that's... congratulations."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "We always hoped you two kids would get together. Who is she?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "She's no one!"
|
|
|
|
(Saffron starts to cry)
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Captain!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: (at a loss) "Stop that."
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "I'm... sorry..."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "You brute."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: (to Saffron) "Oh, sweetie, don't feel bad. He makes everybody cry.
|
|
He's like a monster."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I'm not a monster. Wash, turn the ship around."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "This isn't happening." (to Saffron) "Will you stop crying?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Oh, for God's sake, Mal, can you be a human being for thirty
|
|
seconds?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Speaking as one married man to another..."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I am not married!" (to Saffron) "I'm sorry. You don't shame me, you
|
|
have very nice qualities but I didn't ever marry you."
|
|
|
|
Book: (holding encyclopedia) "I believe you did. Last night."
|
|
|
|
(Mal hesitates, as does everyone)
|
|
|
|
Mal: (to Jayne, quiet) "How drunk was I last night?"
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very
|
|
special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people
|
|
who talk at the theater."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "What -- I am not... preacher, you've got a smutty mind!"
|
|
|
|
Book: "Perhaps I spoke out of turn."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You may perhaps I'm thinking!"
|
|
|
|
Book: "I apologize. I'll make her up a room in the passenger dorm."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Good"
|
|
|
|
(Book walks away and around the corner. A beat later, he pokes his head
|
|
back around to speak)
|
|
|
|
Book: "The *special* hell."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Saffron: "Are you gonna kill me?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "What? What kind of crappy planet is that? Kill you?"
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "In the maiden's home, I heard talk of men who weren't pleased
|
|
with their brides, who..."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well I ain't them. And don't you ever stand for that sort of thing.
|
|
Someone tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back. Wife or no,
|
|
you're no one's property to be tossed aside. You got the right same as
|
|
anyone to live and to try to kill people. I mean, you know. People
|
|
that are... That's a dumb planet."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Saffron: "I'd be a good wife."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Yeah, well, I'd be a terrible husband. You got five whole days to
|
|
figure that out."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Saffron: "I didn't think to make enough for your friends." (to Zoe) "But
|
|
I've everything laid out if you'd like to cook for your husband..."
|
|
|
|
(Wash looks at Zoe for a microsecond of hope, before laughing
|
|
overcompensationally)
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Ta ha ha... Isn't she quaint? I'm just not hungry..."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: (to Mal) "So, are you enjoying your own nubile little slave girl?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: (mouth full) "I'm not... (chewing) nubile ... (swallows) Look, she
|
|
wanted to make me dinner. At least she's not crying..."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "I might. Did she really make fresh bao?" (notices Zoe's glare)
|
|
"Quaint!"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Remember that sex we were planning to have ever again?"
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I would appreciate it if one person on this boat did not assume I was
|
|
an evil, lecherous hump."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Nobody's saying that, sir."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Yeah, we're mostly just giving each other significant glances and
|
|
laughing incessantly. Is that cider?"
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Can I come in?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "No."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "See, that's why I usually don't ask."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Are you offering me a trade?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "A trade!? Hell, it's theft. This is the best damn gun made by man.
|
|
It has extreme sentimental value. It's miles more worthy than what you got."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "What I got? She has a name."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "So does this!" (caresses the gun lovingly) "I call it Vera."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a
|
|
middle."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Jayne: Go play with your night-stick."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Saffron: "You're a good man."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You clearly haven't been talking to anyone else on this boat..."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met,
|
|
I spent six weeks on a moon where the principal form of recreation was
|
|
juggling geese. My hand to God. Baby geese. Goslings. They were juggled"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Of course the man rushes in to defend her..."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "(Huh?) I'm talking about geese."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: (looking at Saffron, shocked) "Whoa, hey... flesh..."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Saffron: "On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man
|
|
as the furrow to the plow. He shall work in her again and again, 'til she
|
|
bring him to his full. And rest him then upon the sweat of her breast."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Whoa - good bible..."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Oh, I'm gonna go to the special hell..."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Wuh duh ma huh ta duh fung-kwong duh wai-shung doh (Holy mother
|
|
of God and all her wacky nephews), do I wish I was somebody else right now.
|
|
Somebody not married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can
|
|
kill me with her pinky."
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "I've been too forward."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "No. Well, yes. But I actually like that in a woman. That's part of
|
|
why Zoe and I are, as previously mentioned, married."
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "I thought... she didn't seem to respect you."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Not everybody gets me and Zoe at first glance. Did it get very hot
|
|
in here? I need airflow."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "Come into my shuttle."
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "You would lie with me?"
|
|
|
|
(alarms sound)
|
|
|
|
Inara: "I guess we've lied enough."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: (to Mal) "You were drugged."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth"
|
|
|
|
(Everyone falls deathly silent)
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "So you two were kissing?"
|
|
|
|
Book: "Well, isn't that... special?"
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "You woulda kissed her too!"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Wash didn't."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "But she was naked! And... articulate!"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Okay. Everyone NOT talking about their sex lives, in here. Everyone
|
|
else, elsewhere."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "You were victimized, Wash was assaulted, and then Inara found you
|
|
here."
|
|
|
|
Inara (groggy): "And then I fell and hit my head. Like Wash."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "So why the big act? What was she after?"
|
|
|
|
Book: "Besides molesting innocent captains?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You want to stow it, preacher? We're in some peril here."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "If she can fly this thing, why'd she take the shuttle?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Maybe she likes shuttles. Some people juggle geese!"
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "See, Vera? Dress yourself up you get taken out somewhere fun."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Saffron: "You gonna kill me?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Can you conjure up a terribly compelling reason for me not to?"
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "I didn't kill you."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You handed me and my crew over to those that would kill us. That buys
|
|
you nothing."
|
|
|
|
Saffron: (smiles) "I made you dinner."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "You got all kinds of learning, and you make me look a fool without even
|
|
trying, and yet here I am with a gun to your head. That's cause I got people
|
|
with me, people who trust each other, and do for each other, and ain't
|
|
always looking for an advantage."
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "Promise me you're going to kill me soon."
|
|
--Episode #6, "Our Mrs Reynolds"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "I swear - when it's appropriate."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Simon, the whole point of swearing is that it ain't appropriate."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: (seeing Inara off) "Goodbye, now. Have good sex!"
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: (to Jayne) "Enemies? You? No, how can it be?"
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "All right, fine, I'll go... Just, stop describing me."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "Yes, I... I've heard good things about the mud. Lots of people
|
|
talking about the mud..."
|
|
|
|
Wash: (to Kaylee) "What happened to Simon? Who is this diabolical master of
|
|
disguise?"
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "You wanna tell me how come there's a statue of you here, looking at me
|
|
like I owe him something?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Wishin' I could, Captain."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "No, seriously, Jayne, you want to tell me--?"
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Look, Mal, I got no ruttin' idea. I was here a few years back, like
|
|
I said. Pulled a second-story, stole a lot of scratch from the magistrate up
|
|
on the hill. But things went way south. I had to hightail it. They
|
|
don't...put you on a pedestal in town square for that."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Yeah, 'cept I'm looking at some fair compelling evidence says they do."
|
|
|
|
Simon: (staring at the statue) "This must be what going mad feels like."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: (looking at Jayne's statue) "I think they captured him, though. You
|
|
know, captured his essence."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Looks sorta angry, don't he?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "That's kinda what I meant."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Uh, hey, I got a idea. Instead of us hanging around playing art
|
|
critic 'til I get pinched by the man, how's about we move away from this
|
|
eerie-ass piece of work, and get on with our increasingly eerie-ass day.
|
|
How's that?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I don't know. This here's a spectacle might warrant a moment's consideration."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "What are we up to, sweetheart?"
|
|
|
|
River: "Fixing your Bible."
|
|
|
|
Book: "I, um...(alarmed)...what?"
|
|
|
|
River: "Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics - doesn't make
|
|
sense." (she's marked up the bible, crossed out passages)
|
|
|
|
Book: "No, no. You - you can't... "
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's
|
|
creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there.
|
|
Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven
|
|
eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem."
|
|
|
|
Book: "Really?"
|
|
|
|
River: "We'll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon. Only way to
|
|
fit 5000 species of mammal on the same boat." (rips out page)
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "River, you don't... fix the Bible."
|
|
|
|
River: "It's broken. It doesn't make sense."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "You don't fix faith, River. It fixes you."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Can't be a statue of me. No reason for it. Flies in the
|
|
face of every kind of sense."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Won't argue with that."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: (spits out his first taste of his drink) swears in Chinese
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Mmm. They call it 'mudder's milk."
|
|
|
|
Wash: (gags)
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "All the protein, vitamins and carbs of you grandma's best
|
|
turkey dinner... plus 15 percent alcohol.
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Contact: "Last week, the factory foreman and his prod crew heard he was
|
|
moving contraband through town. Gave him a peck of trouble for it."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "What kind of peck was that?"
|
|
|
|
Contact: "The kind where they hacked off his hands and feet with a machete,
|
|
rolled him into the bog."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "They peck pretty hard around here."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
("The Man They Call Jayne" is being sung in the background)
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Uh, Jayne?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Yeah, Mal?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You got any light you'd like to shed on this development?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "No, Mal."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "No... *This* must be what going mad feels like..."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
He robbed from the rich
|
|
and he gave to the poor.
|
|
Stood up to the man
|
|
and gave him what for.
|
|
Our love for him now
|
|
ain't hard to explain.
|
|
The hero of Canton
|
|
the man they call Jayne.
|
|
|
|
Our Jayne saw the mudders' backs breakin'.
|
|
He saw the mudders' lament.
|
|
And he saw the Magistrate takin'
|
|
every dollar and leavin' five cents.
|
|
So he said "You can't do that to my people."
|
|
He said "You can't crush them under your heel."
|
|
So Jayne strapped on his hat
|
|
and in 5 seconds flat
|
|
stole everythin' Boss Higgins had to steal.
|
|
|
|
He robbed from the rich
|
|
and he gave to the poor.
|
|
Stood up to the man
|
|
and gave him what for.
|
|
Our love for him now
|
|
ain't hard to explain.
|
|
The hero of Canton
|
|
the man they call Jayne.
|
|
|
|
Now here is what separates heroes
|
|
from common folk like you and I.
|
|
The man they call Jayne
|
|
he turned 'round his plane
|
|
and let that money hit sky.
|
|
|
|
He dropped it onto our houses
|
|
he dropped it into our yards.
|
|
The man they called Jayne
|
|
he stole away our pain
|
|
and headed out for the stars!
|
|
|
|
Here we go!
|
|
|
|
He robbed from the rich
|
|
and he gave to the poor.
|
|
Stood up to the man
|
|
and gave him what for.
|
|
Our love for him now
|
|
ain't hard to explain.
|
|
The hero of Canton
|
|
the man they call Jayne.
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "We gotta go to a crappy town where I'm a hero!"
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "You know... I've saved lives. Dozens. Maybe hundreds. I reattached a
|
|
girl's leg - her whole leg. She named her hamster after me. I got a
|
|
hamster. He drops a box money, he gets a town."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Hamsters is nice."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "To Jayne! The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong... thing."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "I tore these out of your symbol, and they turned into paper."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "They say the snow on the roof was too heavy. The ceiling will cave in,
|
|
his brains are in terrible danger!"
|
|
|
|
Book: "River? Please. Why don't you come out?"
|
|
|
|
River: "No! Can't! Too much hair!"
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "River, honey, he's putting the hair away now."
|
|
|
|
River: "Doesn't matter. It'll still be there... waiting."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "You guys had a riot? On account of me? My very own riot?"
|
|
|
|
Mudder: "I can't believe you're back."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: (all emotional) "How could I stay away?!!"
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "You think we should be using my fame to hoodwink folks?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You better laugh when you say that."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "Is that Jayne? Is that really him? Wash, pinch me, I must be
|
|
dreaming!"
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "I.. I know this man. He's... he just has this idiotic sense of
|
|
nobility, you know? He can never just let things go. He thinks he's this
|
|
hard-hearted criminal and he can be unrelenting, but... there's a side to
|
|
him that's just so...."
|
|
|
|
Fess: "You mean you actually know Jayne?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Jayne? Jayne Cobb?"
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Just keep walking, preacher-man."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "So, when we made love last night..."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "When we what???"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "You really are such an easy mark!"
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "It's my estimation that... every man ever got a statue made of him was
|
|
one kind of sumbitch or another. It ain't about you, Jayne. It's about what
|
|
they need."
|
|
--Episode #7, "Jaynestown"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "You paid money for this, sir? On purpose?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "What? Come on, seriously, Zoe. Whaddya think?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Honestly, sir? I think you got robbed."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Robbed? What? No. What do you mean?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "It's a piece of fei-oo." [fei-oo. = junk]
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Fei-oo? Okay, she won't be winning any beauty contests anytime soon.
|
|
But she's solid. Ship like this, be with ya 'til the day you die."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Cause it's a deathtrap."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "You are very much lacking in imagination."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "I imagine that's so, sir."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Try and see past what she is, to what she can be."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "What's that, sir?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Freedom, that's what."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: (pointing) "I meant, what's that?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Oh. Yeah, just step around that. I think something must have been living
|
|
in here."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "Get her running again?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Yeah.
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "So, not running now?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Not so much."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Now, Inara, she's gotta have some real funny whorin stories, I
|
|
wager."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Oh, do I ever! Funny and sexy! You have no idea. And you never
|
|
will."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "How did you know? River, did you...?"
|
|
|
|
River: "Day is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles.
|
|
It's not applicable." (beat) "I didn't get you anything."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Catalyzer on the port compression coil blew. That's where the
|
|
trouble started."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I need that in Captain Dummy talk, Kaylee."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "I love this ship. I have from the first moment I saw it."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "I just don't want to die on it."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "I don't want to die at all."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Don't be afraid. That's what it says, don't be afraid."
|
|
|
|
Book: "Yes."
|
|
|
|
River: "You're afraid we're going to run out of air. That we'll die gasping.
|
|
But we won't. That's not going to happen. We'll freeze to death first."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Wave your arms around, jump up and down, divert the navsats to the
|
|
transmitter, whatever."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Divert the navsats to-- Right! Because teenage pranks are fun when
|
|
you're about to die!"
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Even if some passerby did happen to receive it, all it would do is muck
|
|
up their navigation."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Could be that's true."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Damn right it's true! They'd be forced to stop and dig out our signal
|
|
before they could even go anyplace."
|
|
|
|
(Mal stares)
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Well, maybe I should do that, then!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Maybe you should!"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Okay!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Good!"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Fine!"
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "What do you two think you're doing? Fightin' at a time like this."
|
|
(beat) "You'll use up all the air."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Ain't nothin wrong with your grav boot. Grav boot's just fine.
|
|
Hello!"
|
|
|
|
Bester: "She doesn't... that's not what... no it ain't!"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Sure it is. Grav boot ain't your trouble. I seen the trouble
|
|
plain as day when I was down there on my back before..."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Jayne'll be worth something if you run into trouble, but don't trust
|
|
him, and don't let him take over. You're paid up through the end of the
|
|
month, this is still your ship."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Mal..."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "As far as your security deposit goes, that I might have to owe you. "
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "If it's Alliance trouble you got, you might want to consider another
|
|
ship. Some onboard here fought for the Independents."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "The Alliance has no quarrel with me. I supported Unification."
|
|
|
|
Mal: Did ya? Well, I don't suppose you're the only whore that did."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Oh, one further addendum -- that's the last time you get to call me
|
|
"whore"."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Absolutely. Never again."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "And try not to talk. Talking uses up air. Ain't no need for it."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "Mal, you don't have to die alone."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Everybody dies alone."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Which one do you figured tracked us?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "The ugly one, sir."
|
|
|
|
Mal: (beat) "Could you be more specific?"
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Well, looks can be deceiving."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Not as deceiving as a lowdown, dirty... deceiver."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well said. Wasn't that well said, Zoe?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Had a kind of poetry to it, sir."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "You want I should shoot 'em now, Marco?"
|
|
|
|
Marco: "Wait till they tell us where they put the stuff."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "That's a good idea. Good idea. Tell us where the
|
|
stuff's at, so I can shoot ya."
|
|
|
|
Mal: (raises hand) "Point of interest. Offering to shoot us
|
|
might not work so well as an incentive as you might imagine."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I mean, let's say you did kill us... or didn't. There could be torture
|
|
- whatever - but somehow, you found the goods. What would your cut be?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Seven percent, straight off the top."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Seven? Oh."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "What?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Hmm? Nothing. Not a thing. No, I just... (to Zoe) does that seem low to
|
|
you?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "It does, sir."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "That ain't low."
|
|
|
|
Marco: "Stop it!"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Seven percent, standard."
|
|
|
|
Mal: (laughs) "Okay. Zoe, I'm paying you too much."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Captain: "Catalyzer's a nothing part, captain."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "It's nothing until you don't got one. Then it appears to be everything."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
Captain: "You would have done the same."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You can already see I haven't. Now get the hell off my ship."
|
|
--Episode #8, "Out of Gas"
|
|
%
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Could you please tell my wife the fun she's missing out on?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Ariel's quite nice place, actually. There are some lovely museums,
|
|
not to mention some of the finest restaurants in the quadrant."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "But not boring like she made it sound."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "You could have got off with Shepard Book at Bathgate Abbey. You could
|
|
have been meditating on the wonders of your rock garden by now."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Well, it beats just sitting."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "It IS just sitting."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "Could you not do that while we're... ever?"
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Two days in a hospital? Don't you just hate doctors?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Hey!"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Present company excluded."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Let's not be excluding people. That'd be rude."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "You know, it's all very sweet, stealing from the rich, selling to the
|
|
poor..."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Figures. First time on the Core and what do I get to do? Dig
|
|
through trash. Why couldn't he send me shopping at the triplex, or...
|
|
Oooh, synchronizers!"
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Patients were cynical and not responding and we couldn't bring 'em
|
|
back-"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "They were cyanotic and not responsive."
|
|
|
|
Simon: (to Jayne) "What about cortical electrodes?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Oh..." (obviously doesn't know the answer) "We forgot 'em."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Pupils were fixed and dilapidated-"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Dilated-"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Dilated! Dilated! Ching-wao tsao duh liou mahng!" [Frog-humping sonofabitch]
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Hell, I don't know. If I'd wanted schooling, I'd have gone to school."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Now all we need is a coupla patients."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Corpses, actually. For this plan to work, River and I will have to
|
|
be dead."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: (smiling) "I'm starting to like this plan."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Look, you got a little stabbed the other day. It's bound
|
|
to make anyone a mite ornery."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Nothing buys bygones quicker than cash."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
River (startling Jayne, jumping up from unconsciousness): "Copper for a kiss?"
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Two lefts, two rights, and we're there. You see anyone, smile."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "I don't think anyone smiles in hospitals."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Course they do, it's the Core. Everyone's rich and happy here, why
|
|
wouldn't they smile?"
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Pompous Doctor: "Walk with me a minute."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Where're we going?" (Zoe sneaks away, around and behind the doctor)
|
|
|
|
Pompous Doctor:"You see this badge? It says 'doctor'. I say walk, you
|
|
walk."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Yeah but, where're we going?"
|
|
|
|
Pompous Doctor: "You must be new." (Zoe walks up behind him) "Don't get
|
|
comfortable, your type never lasts long around here. When your supervisor
|
|
hears about the rude and disrespect--ARGH!!!" (falls to the ground,
|
|
unconscious, revealing Zoe standing behind him with defib paddles)
|
|
|
|
Zoe: (shrugs) "Clear."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
River: (cryptically to Jayne) "They took Christmas away."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: (confused) "What the hell now?"
|
|
|
|
River: "Came downstairs for the shiny presents...they took the tree, and the
|
|
stockings...nothing left but coal."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: (to Simon) "Would you shut her up?"
|
|
|
|
River: (to Jayne) "Don't look in the closet, either -- it's greedy."
|
|
(smiles) "It's not in the spirit of the holiday."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "You shut the hell up right now or so help me, I'll shut you up."
|
|
Zoe: "Can we find someplace with a beach?"
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: (grinning and skipping to her) "Maybe a naked beach?" (they kiss)
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Cut it out. Job's not done 'til we're back on Serenity."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Sorry, sir, didn't mean to enjoy the moment."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "Agent McGinnis, I'm certain you're working under a superior keeping
|
|
close tabs on this case. I'm certain of that because important people don't
|
|
do fieldwork. I'm also certain your superior wants me and my sister alive.
|
|
Now, I'm not going to move from this start until one of two things happens:
|
|
you answer my very simple question, or you shoot me."
|
|
|
|
McGinnis: "We're transferring you to a holding center, until you can be
|
|
retrieved."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Retrieved? By who?"
|
|
|
|
McGinnis: "People who want you alive. People, not me."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: Shee-nio high tech Alliance crap!"
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Hey there, Inara! How was your checkup?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Same as last year. What's going on?"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: (cheerfully) "Oh well let's see...we killed Simon and River, stole a
|
|
bunch of medicine, and now the Captain and Zoe are off springing the others
|
|
that got snatched by the feds."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Hey! How was your thing?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "As advertised -- lots of needles and cold exam tables. I heard you
|
|
had some excitement."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Oh, nothin' much -- lotsa runnin' round, little gunplay...couple
|
|
needles."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "He was amazing! (to Jayne) "We wouldn't be standing here if it
|
|
weren't for you."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Well, uh...you're part of my crew."
|
|
|
|
Mal: (sarcastic) "I think I might cry."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "You called the Feds."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "What? I got pinched!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Which is what happens when you call the Feds."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "You know, I hear tell they used to keelhaul traitors back in the day.
|
|
I don't have a keel to haul you on, so..."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "What are you taking this so personal for? It ain't like I ratted you out
|
|
to the Feds."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "But you did. You turn on any of my crew, you turn on me! If that's a
|
|
concept that you can't seem to wrap your head around, then you got no place
|
|
here. You did it to me, Jayne, and that's a fact."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to
|
|
my face."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Is it time to go to sleep again?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "No, mei mei. It's time to wake up."
|
|
--Episode #9, "Ariel"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "He said, 'Live with a man forty years, share his house, his meals, speak
|
|
on every subject... then tie him up and hold him over the volcano's edge.
|
|
And on that day, you will finally meet the man.' "
|
|
|
|
Simon: "What if you don't live near a volcano?"
|
|
|
|
Book: "I expect he was being poetical."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Sadistic crap legitimized by florid prose. Tell me you're not a
|
|
fan."
|
|
|
|
Book: "I'm just wondering if they were. The people who did this to your
|
|
sister."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "A government is a body of people -- usually notably ungoverned.
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Now you're quoting the captain."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "Yes, I'd forgotten you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now.
|
|
Got your next heist planned?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "No. But I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a
|
|
traditionalist."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Don't worry, I'm not gonna start any sword fights -- I'm over that
|
|
phase."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "One of you is going to fall and kill yourself, and I'm not cleaning it
|
|
up!"
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "It's Jayne being so generous with his cut that confuses and frightens
|
|
me."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "It does kind of freeze the blood."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "We mentioned that we were out of rations, and ten minutes later, a bunch
|
|
of apples rained into the trench."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "And they grew into a big tree, and they all climbed up the tree into a
|
|
magical land with unicorns and a harp."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "And then came the lying to me about it, which for me is sort of the
|
|
highlight of this little adventure."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Is there any way I'm gonna get out of this with honor and dignity?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "You're pretty much down to ritual suicide, lamby-toes."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "I love that you two are old Army buddies, you have wacky stories with
|
|
rib cages in them, but could you have an opinion of your own, please?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "You're losing the high ground here, sweetcakes."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it. Don't hide behind Mal
|
|
because you know he'll shoot it down!"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Right. Because what this marriage needs is one more shouting match."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "No, what this marriage needs is one less husband. Right now it's kind of
|
|
crowded."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Going back. Like apple bits, coming back up."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "But you felt okay this morning?"
|
|
|
|
River: "Played with Kaylee. The sun came out and I walked on my feet and heard
|
|
with my ears. I ate the bits.. the bits that stay down and I work, I
|
|
function like I'm a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away. The sun
|
|
grows dark and chaos has come again. Its fluids.... What am I?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "You are my beautiful sister."
|
|
|
|
River: "I threw up on your bed."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Yup. Definitely my sister."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Didn't want you taking off without me. In fact, didn't want you
|
|
taking off at all. Thought I might take this run instead. Me and the
|
|
Captain."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "The Captain who's standing right here telling you that's not gonna
|
|
happen?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Well, it's a dangerous mission, sir. I can't stand the thought of
|
|
something happening that might cause you two to come back with another
|
|
thrilling tale of bonding and adventure. I just can't take that right now."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Okay, um, I'm lost. Uh, I'm angry, and I'm armed, so if you two have
|
|
something that you need to work out --"
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: (to a departing Zoe) "Bye, hon! We promise not to stop for beers with
|
|
the fellas!" (sits down, starts the engines, then to Mal) "So, are we gonna
|
|
sing army songs or something?"
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Hey, I've been in a firefight before! Well, I was in a fire."
|
|
(beat) "Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "I'll be in my bunk."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "This is precision work; sharpshooters. From the look of these wounds,
|
|
I'd say a 54-R sniper rifle. Laser sights."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Do a lot of shooting at the abbey there, Shepard?"
|
|
|
|
Book: "Rabbits."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "I don't want you to spare me, Mal. If you think you know what's
|
|
happening, then you tell me. You wouldn't spare Zoe if she were in this
|
|
situation with you, would you? You would be planning, and plotting and
|
|
possibly scheming. So whatever Zoe would do in this instance is what I wanna
|
|
do. Do you know why? No matter how ugly it gets, you two always come back
|
|
with the stories. So... I'm Zoe. Now, what do I do?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Probably not talk quite so much."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Right. Less talking. She's terse. I can be terse. Once in flight
|
|
school, I was laconic."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "I mean, I'm the one that she swore to love, honor and obey."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Listen, if..." (beat) "She swore to obey?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Well, no, not... But that's just my point! You she obeys! She obeys
|
|
you! There's obeying going on right under my nose!"
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: (to Mal) "Screw you!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Get in line!"
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Niska: "This is not enough. Not enough for two. But sufficient
|
|
perhaps for one. Ah, now you have to..."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Him. I'm sorry, you were going to ask me to choose, right?
|
|
Do you want to finish?"
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "Well, it's a clean cut. With the right equipment, I should be able
|
|
to reattach it. That's assuming there's a head..."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Niska: "Do you know the writings of Shan Yu?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You starting a book club."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "We're getting him back!"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "What are we going to do, clone him?"
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Niska: "This is not a time for extraordinary men. Business is not war, heroics
|
|
are unseemly. They complicate."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Grenades?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Oh, yes. Thank you, dear."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "We're going to get the captain."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Oh... Good.... Can they do that?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "No."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say
|
|
about killing?
|
|
|
|
Book: "Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of
|
|
kneecaps."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "It's like throwing a dart, Jayne, and hitting a bullseye 6,000 miles
|
|
away. That's my man."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "Okay, people -- if it moves, shoot it."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Unless it's the captain!"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Unless it's the captain."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Listen, if you got guests, I can come back later."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "No power in the 'verse can stop me."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
(Mal, fighting with his torturer on the edge of the factory shaft precipice,
|
|
is interrupted by the arrival of his crew. Jayne lifts his gun, and takes
|
|
aim; however, Zoe grabs his arm.)
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "This is something the Captain needs to do himself."
|
|
|
|
(Jayne lowers his gun)
|
|
|
|
Mal: (Calling back to them) "No, it's not --"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Oh." (All aim and fire in unison)
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "I just wish you'd killed that old bastard."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I got regrets on that score my own self."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "I never shot anyone before."
|
|
|
|
Book: "I was there, son. I'm fair sure you haven't shot anyone yet."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: (unenthusiastically) "I know it's a difficult mission, but you and I...
|
|
have to get it on."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: (unenthusiastically) "I understand. We have no choice. Take me, sir.
|
|
Take me hard."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Now something about that is downright unsettling..."
|
|
--Episode #10, "War Stories"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal (naked, alone in the desert): "Yep... that went well."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Monty: "Damn you, Bridget! Damn you ta Hades! You broke my heart in a
|
|
million pieces! You made me love you, and then y-- I SHAVED MY BEARD FOR
|
|
YOU, DEVIL WOMAN!"
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Whoa there, Cap'n...tell me you didn't get into a fight with Monty."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Really? But I thought we loved Monty!" (to Zoe, uncertain) "Don't
|
|
we love Monty?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Sweetie, if he had a tussle with that Sasquatch, we'd be in the dirt
|
|
right about now, scoopin' up the Captain's teeth."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "I'm not sleeping with you, Mal."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Uh, no, I think I would have noticed. I think my keenly
|
|
trained senses would..."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "This is one of the crazier things I've heard today and when I
|
|
tell you about the rest of my day, you'll appreciate..."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Hey, no, we'll just set course for Planet of the Lonely, Rich, and
|
|
Appropriately Hygienic Man. I'll just tell Wash, we can park there for a
|
|
month."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "Right. You're a criminal mastermind. What was the last cargo we
|
|
snuck past the Alliance to transport?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "That was--"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "What was the cargo?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "They were dolls."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "They were little geisha dolls with big heads that wobbled!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Hey, people love those!"
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Petty?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "I didn't mean petty."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "What did you mean?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Suo-shee?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "That's Chinese for petty."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I'm confused--"
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "You're asking yourself: if I've got the security
|
|
codes, why don't I grab it for myself?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "No, actually, I was wondering... What's she doing on
|
|
this ship? Didn't she try to kill us?"
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "Please. Nobody died last time."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "We're in space. How'd she get here?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "She hitched."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "I don't recall pulling over."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Captain says you're to stay put. Doesn't want you runnin' afoul of
|
|
his blushin' psychotic bride. She figures out who you are, she'll turn you
|
|
in 'fore you can say... 'don't turn me in, lady'."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
River: (looking at Jayne) "She's a liar."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "That don't exactly set her apart from the rest of us. And the
|
|
plunder sounds fun enough."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "She's a liar and no good will come of her."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Well, I say as a rule that girlfolk ain't to be trusted."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Jayne is a girl's name."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Well, Jayne ain't a girl! If she starts in on that 'girl's name'
|
|
thing, I'll show her good an' all I got man parts."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "I'm trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. It's just not
|
|
coming."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Saffron: (to Durran) "They set on me at Parth, these awful men..."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "That wasn't me, though. I don't know those men..."
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "They said they wanted ransom, but they... they sold me to
|
|
slavers..."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Also unknown to me."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Saffron: "We gotta move fast."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Yeah, he might come back and hug us in the act."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Saffron: "He's my husband."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well who in the damn galaxy isn't?"
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I hate to bring up our imminent arrest during your crazy time, but we
|
|
gotta move."
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "I should've killed Durran."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Right. The one guy that don't have it coming. The man who knows you
|
|
and still loves you, treachery and all. Can't have him walking about."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I've seen you without your clothes on before. Never thought I'd see
|
|
you naked."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Saffron: "You won't tell anyone about me breaking down?
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I won't."
|
|
|
|
Saffron: "Then I won't tell anyone how easily I got your gun out of your
|
|
holster."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I'd take that as a kindness."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Also, I can kill you with my brain."
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "You call this going well?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "We got the loot, didn't we?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Yes, but--"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Then I call it a win. What's the problem?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Should I start with the part where you're stranded in the
|
|
middle of nowhere... or the part where you have no clothes?"
|
|
--Episode #11, "Trash"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Oh my god, it's grotesque! Oh, and there's something in a jar."
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "Scared her away again, did you?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "This may come as a shock, but I'm actually not very good at talking
|
|
to girls."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?"
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: (to a jar with a cow fetus, mock-serious) "Do not fear me. Ours is a
|
|
peaceful race, and we must live in harmony..."
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
River: (trying to eat an 'ice-planet') "My food is troublesome."
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "I got post?"
|
|
|
|
Book: "Might we all want to step back a few paces before he opens that?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Ha ha. It's from my mother."
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: (wearing ugly homemade hat) "How's it sit? Pretty cunning,
|
|
don'tchya think?"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "I think it's the sweetest hat ever."
|
|
|
|
Book: "Makes a statement."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Yeah, yeah!"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid
|
|
of anything."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Damn straight."
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
Tracey: "Thanks. Didn't know you were there."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "That's sort of the point. Stealth, you may have heard of it."
|
|
|
|
Tracey: "I don't think they covered that in basic."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Well, at least they covered 'Dropping your weapon so you can eat beans
|
|
and get yourself shot'."
|
|
|
|
Tracey: "Yeah, I got a badge in that."
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Vitelli's out of it. That bumblebee laid down arms at the first sign
|
|
of inevitable crushing defeat, can you imagine such a cowardly creature?"
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone's carrying a bullet for you right
|
|
now, doesn't even know it. The trick is to die of old age before it finds
|
|
you."
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "We're taking him on board?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "We are."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Don't figure the percentage in that."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Don't strain your brain trying, then. Might break something."
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "I don't get this. They're after Tracey?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Or there's something else in that box."
|
|
|
|
(later)
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Anything?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Not unless this crate's made of magical wish-granting planks."
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Using corpses for smuggling is a time-honored repulsive custom."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Maybe it's gold!"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "And maybe this was a friend of ours, and you wanna show a little
|
|
respect."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "I got respect. But I'm just saying... gold!"
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "When you can't run anymore, you crawl, and when you can't do that, you
|
|
find someone to carry you."
|
|
%
|
|
Tracey: "That call means you just murdered me!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You murdered yourself, son. I just carried the bullet for a while."
|
|
--Episode #12, "The Message"
|
|
%
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Hi."
|
|
|
|
Mal: (terribly startled while working on his guns) "BWAAA!"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You didn't." (repeating, as if he meant to) "BWAAA! That's kind of a
|
|
warrior... It's a... strikes fear into..." (nothing) "Bwaa?" (gives up) "You
|
|
know, it ain't altogether wise, sneaking up on a man when he's handling a
|
|
weapon."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "You know, not altogether wise, sneaking up on a man when he's
|
|
handling his weapon."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "I'm sure I've heard that said. But perhaps the dining area isn't the
|
|
place for this sort of thing?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "What do you mean? Only place with a table big enough."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Of course. In that case..." (rearranges guns) "Every well-bred petty
|
|
crook knows -- the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of
|
|
the place setting."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "This distress call wouldn't be taking place in someone's pants, would
|
|
it?"
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "It sounds like the sort of thing this crew can handle. I can't
|
|
guarantee they'll handle it particularly well, but-"
|
|
|
|
Nandi: "If they got guns, and brains at all..."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "They have guns."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "No one's gonna force you to go, Jayne. As has been stated -- this
|
|
job's strictly speculative."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Good. 'Cause I don't know these folks, don't much care to."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "They're whores."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "I'm in."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Any friend of Inara's is a strictly business-like relationship of
|
|
mine."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I'll introduce you to the rest of the crew later. They're good folk."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: (calls out from across the room) "Can I start gettin' sexed already?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well, that's one kind of horrific."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "My John Thomas is about to pop off and fly about the room,
|
|
there's so much tasty in here."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Would be you'd get you most poetical about your pecker."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Everybody's got somebody..." (wistfully) "Wash, tell me I'm
|
|
pretty..."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "'Cause I'm pretty?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "'Cause you're pretty."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Thank you. That was very restorative."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Inara, think you could stoop to being on my arm?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Will you wash it first?"
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Well, lady I must say..." (admiring smile) "...you're my kinda
|
|
stupid."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "I ain't so afraid of losing something that I ain't gonna try
|
|
to have it."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
River: (near a woman in labor) "Who do you think is in there?"
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Miss Nandi, I have a confession to make."
|
|
|
|
Nandi: "Maybe I should get the Shepherd."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well, I ain't sinned yet, and I'd feel more than a little awkward
|
|
having him here when I do."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Captain seem a little funny to you at breakfast this morning?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Come on, Kaylee. We all know I'm the funny one."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "This is just a moment in time. Step aside and let it happen."
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Petaline: "Jonah, say hello to your daddy." (aims gun). "Say goodbye to
|
|
your daddy, Jonah." (fires)
|
|
--Episode #13, "Heart of Gold"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "I wish I was lying! I just... you know, we'd all made surgeon.
|
|
That was it. We were the elite. The world was ours, you know."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "So you had to be naked?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Naked, yes. And on top of the statue of Hippocrates. Can't you
|
|
just picture me?"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "What, naked? Oh well, hmm... let's see. I'm gonna have to conjure
|
|
up... Yeah, that's gonna be difficult... so, did the Feds come?"
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "This is not funny. This is a morality tale about the evils of
|
|
sake."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "It was either that or the National Anthem. Reports vary."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Saint Jayne, it's got a ring to it!"
|
|
|
|
Book: "I'm just trying to remember how many miracles you've performed."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "I once hit a guy in the neck from 500 yards with a bent scope. Does
|
|
that count upstairs?"
|
|
|
|
Book: "Oh, it will be taken into consideration."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "You made that sound kind of ominous."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "It's just an object. Doesn't mean what you think."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Fully loaded, safety off. This here's a recipe for unpleasantness.
|
|
Does she understand that?"
|
|
|
|
River: "She understands. She doesn't comprehend.
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well, I'm glad we've made that distinction."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "When I want a lot of medical jargon, I'll talk to a doctor.
|
|
|
|
Simon: "You are talking to a doctor."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "We're in deep space, corner of no and where."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do
|
|
next?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all
|
|
die from it."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Let's move this conversation in a not-Jayne's-fault direction."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Anyone remember her coming at me with a butcher knife?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Wacky fun..."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "You want to go, little man?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Only if it's someplace with candlelight."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "I don't think she'd harm anyone."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Butcher knife!"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Anyone we can't spare."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Didn't make much account of myself, I'm afraid."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I got no problem with the notion of you not killing no one, Kaylee."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "She just did the math."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "This is not a joking matter! This is about our lives! And
|
|
River's."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "She's just a kid. She just... wants to be a kid."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "But she does have an oddness to her. And I ain't just talking about
|
|
her proficiency with firearms. Girl knows things. Things she shouldn't.
|
|
Things she couldn't."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Wha-...are you-are you sayin' she's a witch?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: (sarcastically) "Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with
|
|
the beast."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "She's in Congress?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: (amazed) "How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so
|
|
curious."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "We live in a space ship, dear."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "... and if wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak!"
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Don't let the space bugs bite! (embarrassed, to herself) "Space
|
|
bugs?"
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Early: "Strains the mind a bit. You think you're all alone... Maybe I come
|
|
down the chimney, Kaylee. Bring presents to all the good girls and boys.
|
|
Maybe not, though. Maybe I've always been here."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "And which part of your plan dictated the necessity of beating up a
|
|
shepard?"
|
|
|
|
Early: "That ain't a shepard."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Early: "Is it still her room when it's empty? Does the room, the thing,
|
|
have purpose? Or do we... What's the word?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "I really can't help you."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "So you're a bounty hunter."
|
|
|
|
Early: "That ain't it at all."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Then what are you?"
|
|
|
|
Early: "I'm a bounty hunter."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Early: "They make psychiatrists get psychoanalyzed before they can get
|
|
certified, but they don't make surgeons get cut on. That seem right to you?"
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Early: "You ever been shot?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "No."
|
|
|
|
Early: "You out to be shot. Or stabbed. Lose a leg. To be a surgeon, you
|
|
know. Know what kind of pain you're dealing with."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "Come on out, River. The nice man wants to kidnap you."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "This is pointless, you know."
|
|
|
|
Early: "200,000 seems fairly pointed to me."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "Serenity is a smuggling ship. I've been here a year, I couldn't
|
|
name all the places she might hide."
|
|
|
|
Early: "I don't have a year." (beat) " Your sister is being a real annoyance."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "I feel for you."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Early: "Man is stronger by far than woman, but only woman can create a
|
|
child. Does that seem right to you?"
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Early: "You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget,
|
|
this girl is the smallest cargo I've ever had to transport. Yet by far the
|
|
most troublesome. Does that seem right to you?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "What'd he do?"
|
|
|
|
Early: "Who?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "The midget."
|
|
|
|
Early: "Arson. Little man loved fire."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
River/Serenity: "You're wrong about River. River's not on the ship. They
|
|
didn't want her here, but she couldn't make herself leave. So she melted...
|
|
Melted away. They didn't know she could do that, but she did."
|
|
|
|
Early: "I'm not sure I take your meaning there."
|
|
|
|
River/Serenity: "I'm not on the ship. I'm in the ship." (beat) "I am the
|
|
ship."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "River..."
|
|
|
|
River/Serenity: "River's gone."
|
|
|
|
Early: "Then who exactly are we talking to?"
|
|
|
|
River/Serenity: "You're talking to Serenity. And, Early... Serenity is very
|
|
unhappy."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Early: "I only hurt people because they keep getting in the way of me
|
|
finding you." (to Simon): "Tell her."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "What am I? Your advocate?"
|
|
|
|
Early: (aiming his gun) "You are now."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "He's really very... gentle... and fuzzy. We're becoming fast
|
|
friends."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
(River/Serenity laughs)
|
|
|
|
Early: "You folks are all insane."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Well, my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood."
|
|
|
|
Early: Doesn't anybody care that I have a finely crafted gun pointed at this
|
|
boy's head?"
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Early: "Where'd she go?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a
|
|
spaceship. Don't look at me."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "There's a guy.. he's very blurry. You gotta be careful." (beat)
|
|
"Oh... how come there's a guy on board? How come you're all of a sudden the
|
|
ship?"
|
|
|
|
River/Serenity: "I know you have questions."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "That would be why I just asked them."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Am I dreaming?"
|
|
|
|
River/Serenity: "We all are." (beat) "Don't make faces."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "How about his face? Is his face wearing armor?"
|
|
|
|
River/Serenity: "No touching guns!"
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Early: "I'll be a son of a whore! You're not in my gorram mind! You're in
|
|
my gorram ship!"
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
River/Serenity: "You're not right, Early. You're not righteous. You got
|
|
issues.
|
|
|
|
Early: "No. Well, yes. I could have that."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Don't belong. Dangerous, like you. Can't be controlled. Can't be
|
|
trusted. Everyone can just go on without me and not have to worry. People
|
|
could be what they wanted to be. Could be with the people they wanted.
|
|
Live simple. No secrets..."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "No..."
|
|
|
|
River: "I'll be fine. I'll be your bounty, Jubal Early. And I'll just fade
|
|
away."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Permission to come aboard?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You know, you ain't quite right."
|
|
|
|
River: "It's the popular theory."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Go on. Get in there. Give your brother a thrashing for messing up
|
|
your plan."
|
|
|
|
River: "He takes so much looking after."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "This is really not my area of expertise, doctor. I tend to be putting
|
|
these into people more than the other thing."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Can I mop your brow? I am at the ready with the fearsome brow
|
|
mopper."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "You got the bullet. Okay, I'm going to pass out now, but you're
|
|
doing great."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "All them years of priest training, taken out by one bounty hunter."
|
|
|
|
Book: "Don't get me wrong, I gave him a hell of a fight."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Epic, I'm guessing."
|
|
|
|
Book: "There'll be poems and songs, just you wait."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "At least you got some play. I missed every damn thing."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Early (drifting): "Well... here I am..."
|
|
--Episode #14, "Objects in Space"
|
|
%
|
|
Cashier: "Nineteen. Twenty."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "And done."
|
|
|
|
(The cashier hands Mal a wad of bills; Mal starts to count it.)
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Not that I don't trust you... but I don't trust you."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Let's go get us some of those curly carrots. Love 'em deep fried."
|
|
|
|
(Wash starts to move Zoe off; she stops him and turns to Mal)
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Capt'n?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: (drops arm) "Yeah, dad. Can we go? Promise to be home before
|
|
midnight."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Go. Wouldn't want to be responsible for cold curly carrots."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Guess I'm not giving you money."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "No."
|
|
|
|
Mal: (smilin') "Well, unless there'd be some kind of benefit for the
|
|
exchange of said money..."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Definitely, no."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Then I suppose the least I can do is escort you to the fair."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "How adolescent... and charming of you."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "River has never been to a fair and she hasn't had a chance to
|
|
do much that is fun in awhile..."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Alliance jail could be fun."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "You shouldn't feel bad you didn't guess the fat lady's weight.
|
|
I actually thought it was quite sweet to drop fifty pounds."
|
|
|
|
Book: "Seemed a wise choice."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Now you can't tell me that an attractive lady like yourself has
|
|
never been escorted to a fair?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: (laughing) "They weren't quite the thing where I was raised."
|
|
|
|
(Mal stops, not loving that comment, then tosses another ring. Makes it
|
|
again.)
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Poor little Inara, not allowed to get her hands dirty with us
|
|
common folk."
|
|
|
|
Inara: (taken aback) "That's not what I --" (Mal throws another) "I
|
|
guess not everyone's lucky enough to fulfill their lifelong dream of
|
|
becoming an expert ring tosser."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
Cmdr. Tanaka: "Thanks to the good Alliance people of Verbena, our gear
|
|
shift factory is opening ten days ahead of schedule."
|
|
|
|
(The crowd around the stage cheers. Mal claps, hollers.)
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Oh, yeah. Let's all hear it for the good Alliance."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
(Jayne approaches, injured stuffed turtle in hand. Holds it up.)
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Jayne."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "<Bastards> singed my turtle."
|
|
|
|
(Everyone stares at Jayne)
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Let me find a medic."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Thanks."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
(River motions Mal over to her, like she has a secret)
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Yeah?"
|
|
|
|
River: "Purple elephants are flying."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Good. Thanks for the update."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "What should I do?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: (hands her bandages): "Tie it off."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Simon, I'm good with anatomy, but not like this..."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Zoe?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Yeah."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "What if this guy, you know, did it?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Trust me, darling, this guy couldn't even tie his shoelaces if it
|
|
wasn't described to him using step by step graphics."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Come out, come out, wherever you are. We won't hurt you...
|
|
much."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Hey!"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Sorry."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Got any thread?" (Holds up stuffed turtle; its neck is almost
|
|
gone) "His floppy neck's makin' me sad."
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
River reads a story, surrounded by little injured children:
|
|
|
|
River: (sweet voice) "And the beautiful princess every night prayed for
|
|
her handsome prince... "
|
|
|
|
River: (continuing) "... to fight through the terrible ivy of thorns
|
|
and climb up to her room and slay all the wicked, evil demons... "
|
|
|
|
River: (much later, sweetly sing-songy) "And then the beautiful princess
|
|
got tired of waiting for her handsome prince and tried to escape, but
|
|
they found her and to punish her they locked her in a smelly, white,
|
|
cold room where the evil blue demons strapped electrodes to her face
|
|
and started to shock her. Zap, zap, zap, until she couldn't stop
|
|
screaming. Only no one could hear."
|
|
|
|
(River remains smiling; the kids not so much. In fact, they're just a
|
|
little bit freaked out by the story and by the freaky lady telling it)
|
|
--Unfilmed Episode, "Dead or Alive"
|
|
%
|
|
Teacher: "The Central Planets formed the Alliance, so everyone can
|
|
enjoy the comfort and enlightenment of true civilization."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "Do you know what your sin is?"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "The minds behind every diplomatic, military, and covert
|
|
operation in the galaxy, and you put them in a room with a psychic."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "In certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as
|
|
completely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords."
|
|
|
|
Dr. Mathias: "Well, unfortunately, I forgot to bring a sword..."
|
|
|
|
(Schhhhing -- the Operative pulls one out)
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "I believe in something that is greater than myself. A
|
|
better world. A world without sin."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "So me and mine got to lie down and die so you can live in your
|
|
better world?"
|
|
|
|
Operative: "I'm not going to live there. There's no place for me there."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "Every minute you keep River Tam from me, more people will die."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You think I care?"
|
|
|
|
Operative: "Of course you do. You're not a reaver, Mal."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I don't murder children."
|
|
|
|
Operative: "I do. If I have to."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "This is a good death. There is no shame in this."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "This landing is gonna get pretty interesting."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Define 'interesting'".
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die?"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "We may experience some slight turbulence and then... explode."
|
|
|
|
Jayne (whining): "Explode? I don't wanna explode!"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "You told me the entry couplings would hold for another week!"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "That was six months ago, cap'n."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Fear is nothing to be ashamed of, Doc."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "This isn't fear. This is anger."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well, it's hard to tell the one from t'other, face like yours."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "I imagine if it were fear, my eyes would be wider."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I'll look for that next time."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I am taking your sister under my protection here. That means that if
|
|
anything happens to her, I swear to you I will get very choked up. Honestly.
|
|
There could be tears."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "It's okay to leave them to die."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "Are those grenades?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Cap'n doesn't want 'em."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "We're robbing the place. We're not occupying it."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Shiny. Lets be bad guys."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "We mean to be thieving here, but what we are after is not yours. So
|
|
let's have no undue fuss."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I see a head start to rise, violence is gonna ensue."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "You know what the definition of a hero is? It's someone who gets other
|
|
people killed. You can look it up later."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe (after breaking into a nearly empty bank safe): "At last, we can retire
|
|
and give up this life of crime."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Guard: "You have to give me your authorization password."
|
|
|
|
(Jayne fires down into the vault... there is a delay)
|
|
|
|
Guard: "Okay!"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Leg's good. It'll bleed plenty and we avoid any necessary organs."
|
|
|
|
Guard: "I was thinking, more of a graze..."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well, you don't want it to look like you just gave up."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about
|
|
at all."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Mal! MAL!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Every heist, he's gotta start yelling my name."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal (being pursued closely by Reavers): "Faster. Faster. Faster would be
|
|
better!!!"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne (being attacked by reavers, after being made to leave his weapons
|
|
behind): "Boy, sure would be nice to have some GRENADES, don'tcha think?"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "I won't get eaten! You shoot me if they take me!"
|
|
|
|
(Mal aims toward Jayne in an attempt to free him)
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Well don't shoot me FIRST!"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "He didn't lie down. They never lie down."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee (to Simon): "Are you okay?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Is HE okay?"
|
|
|
|
Simon (rushing to River, who is seemingly unfazed): "River?"
|
|
|
|
River: "I swallowed a bug."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's going to start a
|
|
fair fight... or if he bothers me, or if there's a woman.. or I'm gettin' paid.
|
|
Mostly if I'm gettin' paid."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee (to Simon, as he leaves): "Don't ride in anything with a Capissen 38
|
|
engine, they fall right out of the sky!"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "It's not safe..."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Yes. Yes, I fear it's not safe anymore."
|
|
|
|
River: "...for them."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "In the time of war, we woulda never left a man stranded."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Maybe that's why we lost."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Mingo. Fanty."
|
|
|
|
Mingo (pointing to Fanty): "He's Mingo."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "He's Fanty. You're Mingo."
|
|
|
|
Mingo: "Ghahh! How is it you always know?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Fanty's prettier."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run
|
|
on batteries."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Oh God! I can't know that!"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "I could stand to hear a little more..."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Fanty: "You know that girl?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I really don't..."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Can we start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a ninety
|
|
pound girl? 'Cause I don't think that's ever getting old."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne (interrupting the "safe words" that make River fall asleep): "Well don't
|
|
say it!!!"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "It only works on her, Jayne."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Oh. Well, now I know that."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Didn't we have a intricate plan how they was gonna be not here anymore?"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "We couldn't leave them now...!"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "No, now that she's a... killer woman, we oughta be bringing her tea and
|
|
dumplings."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mr. Universe: "You guys always bring me the very best violence."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Put a bullet to me. Bullet in the brainpan, squish."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "It isn't mine. The memory. I didn't bring it and I shouldn't have to
|
|
carry it, it isn't mine."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "Am I talking to Miranda now?" (River makes a face) "No. Right."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "You got a plan?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Hiding ain't a plan?"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "When I talk about belief, why do you always assume I'm talking about
|
|
God?"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Kaylee's been missing you something fierce."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "So.. Trap?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Trap."
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "We goin' in?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Ain't nothin' but a few hours out."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "But, remember the part where it's a trap?"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Kaylee: "How can you be sure Inara just don't wanna see you? Sometimes
|
|
people have feelings - I'm referring here to people..."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Y'all were watching, I take it?"
|
|
|
|
(guilty glances)
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Did you see us fight?"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "No."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Trap."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Zoe, ship is yours. ...you don't hear from me within the hour, you
|
|
take this ship and you come and rescue me!"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "What? And risk my ship?"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Dear Buddha: please send me a pony, and a plastic rocket, and..."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "Mal, what are you doing here?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You invited me."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Yes, but I never thought for a second you'd be stupid enough to come!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Well that makes you kind of a tease, doesn't it?"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "I'm impressed that you would come for her yourself. And that
|
|
you would make it this far in that outfit."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "It's worse than you know."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "It usually is."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "That girl will rain destruction down on you and your ship. She's
|
|
an albatross, Captain."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Way I remember it, albatross was a ship's good luck... till some idiot
|
|
killed it." (to Inara) "Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "If the alliance wanted to show me reason, they shouldn't have sent an
|
|
assassin."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative (to Mal): "You can not make me angry."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Please - spend an hour with him!"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "I want to resolve this like civilized men. I'm not threatening
|
|
you. I'm unarmed."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Good." (draws and fires; operative falls to the ground, but comes back
|
|
up fighting)
|
|
|
|
Operative: "I am of course wearing full body armor. I am not a moron."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "Nothing here is what it seems. He's not the plucky hero. The
|
|
Alliance isn't some evil empire. This isn't the grand arena."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "And that's not incense." (explosion ensues)
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "Have you found the nav sat?"
|
|
|
|
Officer: "Sir? We found seven."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative (to ensign): "Define 'disappeared'."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "Do you really think any of us are gonna get through this?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "... I might..."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "It's not your way."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I have a way? Is that better than a plan?"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "I'm a monster. What I do is evil, I've no illusions about that.
|
|
But it must be done."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "They'll come at you sideways. It's how they think: sideways.
|
|
Sidle up and smile, hit you where you're weak."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "No offense, Doc, I think it's noble as a grape the way you
|
|
look after River, but she ain't my sister, and she ain't your crew."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "You all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the
|
|
same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all.
|
|
'Cause as sure as I know anything, I know this: they will try again.
|
|
...they'll swing back to the belief that they can make people... better.
|
|
And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Are you anything but a weapon? I've staked my crew's life on the theory
|
|
that you're a person, actual and whole, and if I'm wrong, you'd better shoot me
|
|
now..."
|
|
|
|
(River cocks gun)
|
|
|
|
Mal: "... or, we could talk more."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "I had to show them. I didn't know if you were going to make me sleep."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "You could have asked."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Do you want to run this ship?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Yes."
|
|
|
|
Mal: (beat) "Well... you can't!"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Inara: "I just want to know who I'm dealing with. I've seen too many versions
|
|
of you to be sure."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I start fighting a war I guarantee you'll see something new."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: ".... I wish like hell you was elsewhere."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "I was."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "Can I suggest something that doesn't involve violence, or is this the
|
|
wrong crowd for that?"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "We'll get off. River and I will get off and..."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "Nobody's saying that."
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Nobody besides Jayne is saying that."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal (to a badly injured Book): "Shepherd... don't move."
|
|
|
|
Book: "Won't go far."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "I shot him down... I killed the ship... that killed us. Not very
|
|
Christian of me."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You did what's right."
|
|
|
|
Book: "...coming from you, that means... almost nothing."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Shouldn't have been you - they shoulda hit us."
|
|
|
|
Book: "That crossed my mind..."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Runtse duh shang-dee, ching daiwuhtzo [Merciful God, please take me
|
|
away]. Make them stop, they're everywhere, every city every house every
|
|
room, they're all inside me. I can hear them all and they're saying nothing!
|
|
GET UP! PLEASE GET THEM UP! Wuoshang mayer, maysheen, byen shr-too [I will
|
|
close my ears and my heart and I will be a stone], please God, make me a stone!"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "She is starting to damage my calm."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal (after Simon punches him): "Tzao ss-ma? Nee-yow wuh-kai chang?" [You
|
|
wanna bullet? You wanna bullet right in the throat?]
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
(in response to Mal's plan to reaverize Serenity)
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Runtse de fwotzoo, ching baoyo wuomun..." [Oh merciful Buddha,
|
|
protect us...]
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Juhguh jee hua jun kuhpah!" [This plan is horrific.]
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "It's of interest to me how much you know about that world."
|
|
|
|
Book: "I wasn't born a Shepherd, Mal."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Have to tell me about that sometime."
|
|
|
|
Book: "No, I don't."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "And we're gonna need paint. We're going to need red paint."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "Sir. Do you really mean to turn our home into an abomination
|
|
so we can make a suicidal attempt at passing through Reaver space?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "I mean to live. I mean for us to live. The Alliance won't
|
|
have that, so we go where they won't follow."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "How much ammo is left?"
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Three mags and my swinging cod!"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "River - I'm sorry..."
|
|
|
|
River: "No. No."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "I hate to... leave..."
|
|
|
|
River: "You won't. You take care of me. You've always taken care of me."
|
|
(pause) "My turn."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "The Alliance knows about Mr. Universe. They're gonna see this coming."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "No. They're not going to see this coming."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "Target the reavers. Target the reavers! Target everything!
|
|
Somebody, fire!!!"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "My one true regret in all this is never being with you."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "With me? You mean to say, as... sex?"
|
|
|
|
Simon: "... I mean to say."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee (cocking gun): "Hell with this! I'm gonna live!"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "It's finished. We're finished."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mr. Universe: "They can't stop the signal, Mal. They can never stop the
|
|
signal."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mr. Universe/lovebot: "Mal? Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword.
|
|
How weird is that?"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal (looking at the transmitter past a fall to certain doom): "'Hard to get
|
|
to'?! That's a fact!"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "Are you willing to die for that belief?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: (beat) "Yes." (He and the Operative draw on each other. Mal fires first,
|
|
disarming the Operative.) " 'Course, that ain't exactly plan A."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "That's what you want, isn't it?"
|
|
|
|
Inara: "I don't know."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Good answer."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "Do you know what your sin is?
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Aw hell, I'm a big fan of all seven... but right now, I'm gonna have to go
|
|
with wrath."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Wash: "I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I ain't gonna kill you. Hell, I'm gonna grant your greatest wish.
|
|
I'm gonna show you a world without sin."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Ok, clearly some aptitude for this, but it ain't all buttons and
|
|
charts, little albatross. You know what the first rule of flying is? Well, I
|
|
suppose you do, since you already know what I'm about to say. "
|
|
|
|
River: "I do. But I like to hear you say it."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat
|
|
into the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the
|
|
turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down,
|
|
tells you she's hurting 'fore she keens. Makes her a home."
|
|
|
|
River: "Storm's getting worse."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "We'll pass through it soon enough."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "When your quarry goes to ground, leave no ground to go to."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Half of writing history is hiding the truth."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "She's tore up plenty. But she'll fly true."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "Go hwong-tong [Enough of this nonsense]. No trouble now, little
|
|
crazy person... we're going for a nice shuttle ride..."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Keep on talking... You're not getting a location trace off this wave..."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "I can't shut them up, they're all made up of rage..."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Zoe? Are you here?"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "Do the job, sir."
|
|
|
|
Mal. You hold. Hold till I'm back."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "You should know there's no shame in this. You've done remarkable
|
|
things. But you're fighting a war you've already lost."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Yeah, I'm known for that."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I don't plan on any shooting taking place during this job."
|
|
|
|
Jayne: "Well, what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been
|
|
similar."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Just get us on the ground!"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "That part'll happen, pretty definitely."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Fanty: "You're unpredictable, Mal... you run when you oughtta fight,
|
|
fight when you oughtta deal. Makes a business person twitchy..."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Show me off like a dog, old men covered in blood, it never
|
|
touched them but they're drowning in it... I don't know what I'm
|
|
saying, I never know what I'm saying..."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "We locked on to Serenity's pulse beacon the moment you
|
|
hit atmo. I can speak a word and send a missile to that exact location
|
|
inside of three minutes."
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You do that, best make peace with your dear and fluffy lord."
|
|
(tosses a gadget to the Operative)
|
|
|
|
Operative: "... pulse beacon..."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Piece of shrapnel tore up that nerve cluster my first tour. Had it
|
|
moved."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
River: "Miranda."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "What was that?"
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "I, uh, better go see how the inevitable mutiny is coming along..."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Teacher: "...so why would [the independents] fight so hard against us?"
|
|
|
|
River: "We meddle."
|
|
|
|
Teacher: "River?"
|
|
|
|
River: "People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do,
|
|
what to think, don't run don't walk we're in their homes and in their heads
|
|
and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome."
|
|
|
|
Teacher: "River, we're not telling people what to think. We're just trying
|
|
to show them how."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Dr. Mathias: "All our subjects are conditioned for combat, but River...
|
|
she's a creature of extraordinary grace."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Yes. She always did love to dance."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Operative: "We're making a better world. All of them, better worlds."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: "Nobody flies like my mister."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Simon: "I bring River all the way out to the raggedy edge of the 'verse
|
|
so she can hide from the Alliance by robbing banks."
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: "I know the cap'n'll look out for her. They'll be back before you
|
|
can spit." (beat) "Not that you spit."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Jayne: "How come they ain't blowin' us out of the air?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "They wanna run us down. The up close kill."
|
|
|
|
River: "They want us alive when they eat us."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Screen in a bar, advertising candy: "Not Mandatory"
|
|
|
|
[Ed: There's mandatory candy?]
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Hello, little one. You know your part in this?"
|
|
|
|
River: (beat) "Do you?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "It's what I do, darlin'." (sighing) "It's what I do."
|
|
--"Serenity"
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Ready to go to work, darlin'?"
|
|
|
|
River: "There's no pattern to the pebbles here. Completely random. "I
|
|
tried to count them, but you drove too fast. Hummingbird.
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Alright. Great. Lets go."
|
|
--"Serenity", deleted scenes
|
|
%
|
|
Sheydra: "All the more reason the girls look to you. You've seen so much.
|
|
You're a figure of great romance to them."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "Great romance has nothing to do with being a companion, Sheydra; you
|
|
should know better."
|
|
|
|
Sheydra: (coyly) "I'm not the one who had a torrid affair with a pirate."
|
|
|
|
Inara: (shocked) "A who? With a what?"
|
|
|
|
Sheydra: "It's the talk of the house. The girls all trade stories in the
|
|
dorms at night."
|
|
|
|
Inara: "I... didn't... have a... pirate!"
|
|
|
|
Sheydra: "In one of the stories, you make love in a burning temple. I think
|
|
that's my favorite."
|
|
--"Serenity", deleted scenes
|
|
%
|
|
Book: "Lord - I'm walking your way. Let me in, for my feet are sore. My
|
|
clothes are ragged. Look in my eyes, Lord, and my sins will play out in
|
|
them as on the screen. Read them off. Forgive what you can, and send me
|
|
on my path. I will walk on until you give me rest."
|
|
--"Serenity", deleted scenes
|
|
%
|
|
Mal:"They take you down, I don't expect to grieve over it much. I'd like
|
|
to kill you myself if I ever see you again."
|
|
|
|
Operative: "You won't." (pause) "There is nothing left to see."
|
|
|
|
(Operative walks off, then stops near the engine, looking up at the ship
|
|
through the rain)
|
|
|
|
Operative: "Serenity. You lost everything in that battle. Everything you
|
|
had, everything you were. How did you go on?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You're still standing there when that engine starts, you never will
|
|
figure it out." (walks into Serenity) "What a whiner!"
|
|
--"Serenity", deleted scenes
|
|
%
|
|
Zoe: (to Wash, lovingly) "That was close." (They hug each other playfully)
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Hey, what are you guys doin?" (beat) "Making out?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: (flips off Mal) "Blow it, captain."
|
|
--"Serenity", outtakes
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Whoa, Whoa, you see that? You see it, right? You see that?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Turn? Would you turn?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "You want to fly this thing?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "You want me... would you pull over? Is that what you call what you're
|
|
doing?"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "I will pull over this spaceship right now!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Christ almighty!"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Dammit, I don't need a back spaceship driver!"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Get out of the way!!!"
|
|
|
|
Wash: "Christ, that's it!" (throws up hands, leaves seat) "You wanna fly,
|
|
f'in fly!" (off set) "I'll be in my bunk."
|
|
--"Serenity", outtakes
|
|
%
|
|
Everyone: "Summer!"
|
|
|
|
[Ed: It was a running joke on-set that whenever anything went wrong, it was
|
|
actress Summer Glau (River)'s fault.]
|
|
|
|
--"Serenity", outtakes
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "TRAAAAAAAAAAPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!"
|
|
--"Serenity", outtakes
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Don't f'in tell me what to goddamn do!"
|
|
|
|
Kaylee: (laughing) "Goddamn do?"
|
|
--"Serenity", outtakes
|
|
%
|
|
Mal: "Get these bodies together!"
|
|
|
|
Zoe: "We got time for gravedigging?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Zoe, take this and rope them together; five or six of them, I want
|
|
them laid out on the nose of our ship."
|
|
|
|
Simon: "Are you insane?"
|
|
|
|
Mal: "Put Book front and center. He's our friend; we should honor him.
|
|
Kaylee! Find that kid who's taking a dirt nap with Baby Jesus; we need a
|
|
hood ornament. Jayne! Try not to steal too much of their shit."
|
|
--"Serenity", outtakes
|